


Just like him

by cafedanslanuit



Series: Mystic Messenger Angst Week 2020 [5]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Both Saeyoung and MC have bad coping mechanisms, But in a bad way, Character Death, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:22:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27809047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cafedanslanuit/pseuds/cafedanslanuit
Summary: No one teaches you how to grief. Sometimes you just do whatever it helps the pain go away.
Relationships: 707 | Choi Luciel/Main Character, Choi Saeran/Main Character
Series: Mystic Messenger Angst Week 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2026001
Kudos: 21





	Just like him

**Author's Note:**

> Please be aware of the tags as this story can be triggering due to the mentions and or descriptions of death and self harm.

He’s kissing your lips like he’s searching for his promised fix. He thinks if he kisses you with a little bit more force, then maybe it’ll finally kick in. But the weight in his stomach just gets worse. He can feel your tears running down your cheeks and dying on his hands that are holding your face. But Saeyoung keeps kissing you as if his life depends on it, because there has to be a way out of this. He has to get rid of the pain. And he wants you to stop hurting as well.

You open your eyes, your vision blurry from the tears and for a second, you see him again. Healthy and messy red hair, pink-tinted cheeks and perked up nose. But his thumb caresses your cheek and its coarse texture brings you back to reality.

It’s not him.

He’s not here anymore.

Your fists close around Saeyoung’s black blazer and you break the kiss, letting your head fall on his shoulder. Your sobs are louder but it’s just you two in the house, so he just wraps his arms around your frail figure that one day brought him comfort. It only lasts a little while, because you sit up again and pass a hand through your hair, messing up the low bun you had worn for the funeral.

“I’m a horrible person,” you whisper, wiping the tears from your face.

“You’re not,” he assures you and loosens his tie.

“I am,” you insist, and look down at your exposed thighs in the black dress. You punch your right thigh and your skin turns red immediately. A second and a third punch follows, the fourth being interrupted by Saeyoung holding your wrists.

“Let me go.”

“No.”

“Let me go!”

Instead, Saeyoung pulls you to his chest forcefully. He lets go of your wrists only to put his arms around you tightly, immobilizing your every move. You lose count of how much time passes while you stain his white shirt with tears and mascara. He’s silent and it feels so unlike him, it only breaks your heart again. You two were broken beyond repair, and you weren’t sure you would be able to smile again.

When your sniffles become less and less frequent, you feel Saeyoung’s hold loosen and a hand lifting your cheek. You look into his teary honey eyes and you wish you didn’t understand the anguish he was under.

He kisses you, because he needs comfort to dwell with the pain.

And you kiss him again, because he looks just like Saeran.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Due to health issues I wasn't able to complete the full week but I plan to finish it soon :) I had this written out a week ago, not believing this would come out the same day the Saeran AE would be announced, so lets hope both the Choi twins are healthy by the end of it.
> 
> You can find me on tumblr as cafedanslanuit c:


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